OUR FEELINGS, OUR EMOTIONS

Often people think grief is the emotional experience through someone’s death. Truth is grief is also the loss of an environment that was close, comfortable or important also creates grief. Or the loss that the result from unavoidable changes.

As many people think sadness fade day by day. There is the way how emotion traces to recover from sadness. Not everyone go through same way but most of them. It calls Grief curve.
It starts with shock, numbness - feel like big hole on the heart, blame, anger. Pain, while you experiencing these negative feeling. You don’t need to thing that something is wrong to feel such a way, or shouldn’t feel such a way.

You might ask yourself why such thought comes up and search in your experiences or relationship in the past.
In such a time, please be kind for yourself. It is Ok to be yourself. It is normal to experience such emotions in the time of grief.

One of my clients said after she told me her honest feelings “I can see that I will go up on this grief curve.” There is hope when you get the stage of acceptance.
Crying and talking help to accept the reality of loss.

Often people think grief is the emotions they experience because of someone’s death. The truth is that the loss of an environment that was close, comfortable or important also creates grief. Or it can be the loss that results from unavoidable changes.

Many people think that sadness fades day by day. There is a way how emotions move to recover from sadness. Not everyone goes through the same way but most do. It is called the Grief curve.

It starts with shock, numbness – like a big hole in the heart, blame, and anger. It is like pain, while you experiencing these negative feelings. You don’t need to think that something is wrong to feel such a way, or you shouldn’t feel such a way. You might ask yourself why such thoughts come up and search in your past experiences or previous relationships.

At such a time, please be kind to yourself. It is Ok to be yourself. It is normal to experience such emotions when grieving.
One of my clients said when she told me her honest feelings “I can see that I will go up on this grief curve.” There is hope when you get to the stage of acceptance.

Crying and talking helps to accept the reality of loss, and these are the stages when first going down the grief curve.

© 2009 Makiko Nakazawa

Sometimes you need to go through something to understand how people feel.
My story: after a long wait I got pregnant through IVF - that was 15 years ago.
You can image how excited I was to be pregnant. But I lost my baby at 22 weeks.

I didn’t attend any meetings for those who miscarried. This was because I thought no one
can understand my feelings. I didn’t talk much about my feelings.
I wanted to move on and I thought I did. But now I know what I did 15 years ago. I buried my emotions instead go through my grief. Talk to someone helps a lot in grief.

I encourage you to talk your difficult feelings to someone.
At the same time I understand if you feel “don’t want talk about it right now.” If this is the case, please remember that your husband/partner and children have their own way of grieving. You may feel that you are not understood by your family. It is because their grief style is different from yours.