Don’t give in but don’t prohibit crying

Last time we learnt that children send messages of their important desires by crying.
“... but it is different story whether parents have to accept all the requests or not” Mr Abe says.

There is time when you can’t accept their request or desires if it is not good for the child, or you don’t want your child to copy such behaviours. If parents give in each time when their child cries, it leads the child to be selfish or the child gets power to control the parents.

For this reason parents say “Don’t act like baby!!” or “Don’t cry because I won’t let you”. Still, it is important for children to send messages of their desires and emotions. So parents can say “I see how much you want it, but for these reasons I can’t let you do it.” And let the child cry.

It’s sound easy, but it is not that easy in reality. Why? The key is in the experiences from your young age. (See the last article. Also I will write more on this topic soon.)

You don’t need to say “Use your words/ tell me”, as the emotional blockage will be gone after crying; then they will be able to say what it is. Still it is difficult for pre-schoolers to tell you, but give them time to remove emotional blockages and settle them, as this is what is important for them.

© 2009 Makiko Nakazawa
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